tbh.vc

hi internet!

while browsing through ways i could manage my tasks, i totally forgot about notion as a potential task management application. i went into my old notion account today and found some good stuff i forgot i wrote back in 2024. there were some good stories and some goal i had set for that year. looks like i accomplished 1/5 of them, with the only one being this blog being done late last year lol.

Yearly Goals (2024)

• Create a video game in Godot
• Learn to play 5 songs on the guitar
• Complete an online course in Lua and Go and build a small project using each.
• Finish home page blog
• Exercise, go to the gym at least twice a week

i probably won't switch over to notion since my needs aren't that complex. it would be a good resource to have if i do want to work with a team, though.

time is a circle i guess because i still haven't created a full video game in godot but i just got back into it and currently i'm working on a generic top down shooter inspired by nuclear throne. another good top down shooter that i don't see get mentioned often is voidigo. i was wondering if i could implement what i thought was good about these games and put my own spin to it. oh yeah brotato exists too, that's a good one.

the other goals were kind of pipe-dreams, i'd like to play guitar but i'd rather work on other stuff like game development than learn it right now. at the time, lua and go looked fun to learn as well. and exercising... well that's just not fun (yet). i really do need to work out though.

i'm hoping that with this new regimen, i'm able to knock off 2/5 of my 2024 goals! ヽ(•̀ᴗ•́)ノ

hello internet! welcome back to another (monthly?) edition of very blogs random stuff.

i will be updating the website this weekend with lots of improvements to the blog and maybe the website in general. progress at last!

i probably need to mention that i have been finally diagnosed and medicated for my adhd... i took action thanks to this blog post by Fernando Borretti. i don't remember where i was originally linked to the blog post, but i've been referencing it often to help me manage my adhd.

i have been prescribed with atomoxetine (strattera); a non-stimulant NRI. i can't tell if it's placebo, but i've noticed the effects right away (even though it supposedly takes weeks for norepinephrine to build up). i can focus for longer and with more intent. i am noticing some annoying side effects: dry mouth, tingling sensations, some loopiness/drowsiness, and quite recently appetite suppression. nothing too crazy, but i hope that the side effects subside. i noticed if i take a nap, i will feel super refreshed for a short period too.

in addition to medication, i have made some changes to some of my daily processes. i've been using a task management application called TaskForge. it links directly to my obsidian vault which is a plus in my eyes. the only annoying gripe i have with the application is that it doesn't sync automatically on my iphone until i open the obsidian app. i understand that may just be an ios/obsidian limitation, though, and nothing that the app developer can do. i would recommend it if you don't mind using an obsidian vault to store your crap. otherwise, todoist would probably serve you better.

anyway i think that's enough for this blog post. i'll probably post another one about ai soon.

hello internet,

i spruced up the website and added some fun stuff it as well. i'm planning big things, but i'll need to temper my ambitions and just work on the stuff that i want done. very vague i know. i should open up and actually let you guys know what i'm working on.

i've always had issues with opening up.

i'm not sure why. maybe i'm afraid of not meeting expectations. that sounds about right. if i open up and let people know what i am and what i do, they will set an expectation whether consciously or not. at least, that's what i think.

anyways, i like how the site looks, but i'll surely make some more changes.

hello internet

i stayed up all night researching male fashion (i'm a he/him). i don't really give my choice of clothing any thoughts. i don't really know what prompted this; maybe my clothes are getting a little too old or i'm beginning to face the reality that i am turning 30 and still single. whatever it is, it's not great for my wallet.

i'll buy the eventual jeans and t-shirt every couple of months, but especially recently, i've been looking more and more into trendy and more stylish outfits. i don't want to say it's because i care about how i am perceived by other human beings because it's only partly true. i rarely experiment with self-expression. again, i just didn't care enough.

anyway i'm buying a lot of clothes and i have contributed to the economy (i can afford it). hurray.

hi internet,

today marks a monumental change to tbh.vc. it may not be popular, but tbh.vc does not mean tbh virtual club anymore. it just means tbh.vc. it is my personal website.

i know this may be disheartening news, but it comes with a decent redesign and some major plans for the site. i will need to work on the blog section this weekend. i want it to shine with my own personality rather than forcibly fit in with the indie web early 2000's aesthetic.

i mean... i'll take some inspirations... but i want a site that's just me very.

hello internet.

i haven't really been active in a while. i mean... that seems typical for a neocities blog. i do feel bad for taking such a long-ish hiatus (a month and a half - almost two months?) from working on this site. i still have big ambitions for this website, but these ambitions are definitely misguided. no specific goal other than to make this a cool personal space for myself.

i hate mopey blogs.

AI IS EVIL(?)

i've actually been on a bit of a philosophical rut regarding my ai usage. at first i've been on the fence. i still find it extremely useful for purely technical, results-based applications, but after some introspection, i cannot in good faith use it for creative endeavors. i believe this was me experiencing cognitive dissonance. funnily enough, this youtube video about getting over it with bennett foddy actually prompted this deep introspection. after watching the video, i played the game after 5 years... 59th win. 13ish minutes is not bad.

anyway... i moved to claude but only for planning and brainstorming ideas (llms actually make for a great supercharged rubber ducky). it actually gave me a good recommendation and when i asked for a cms to help me write blog posts. it recommended me front matter cms (not to be confused with frontmatter). i think i'll be staying with this instead of messing with obsidian and its plugins. i'll already have vs code up (i really need to get on vscodium) so it will give me some motivation to work on this website.

i could not in good faith stay with codex due to openai being dumb. it was convenient and good enough for what i wanted to use it for, but the company is just dumb.

DEADLOCK

i've been playing a lot of deadlock lately. i don't think it's a healthy amount time-wise, but i'm enjoying playing with my friends and getting good at a video game. i like playing rem and infernus right now. i'm trying to find a third character to play. i used to play paradox back when there were 4 lanes, but the character is just too difficult for me. :P

hello internet! time to get somewhat personal.

i probably have adhd - never was diagnosed with it, but i wouldn't be surprised if i was. the main problem i have with it is my executive dysfunction. i have issues sticking with things - let alone initiating them in the first place.

due to a combination of reasons, including my perceived adhd, i never felt i was at my full potential when it came to software development. the rise of llms and other ai tools have not helped with this at all either.

i feel like my software development skills are undermined due to how good llm's have gotten at writing code. why would i copy and paste some boilerplate code from stackoverflow when i could get a custom solution using chatgpt? i'll still have to comb through the code and then fix any issues i find from either solution. the moral and environmental implications are there, but they are not enough for me to not justify using these tools.

anyways, i went for a 3am run since i couldn't sleep last night, my first workout for the year i suppose. i would like to find a daily schedule that works for me. i like waking up during ungodly hours (3-4am), but that would require me to sacrifice my evening time.

i spend way too much time on youtube. ;-;

hello interwebz,

the goal for this blog is to reach 100 posts.

100 posts containing my unfiltered random thoughts - ok they're a little filtered... but as unfiltered as i can get them. my new years resolution was to be more open to people this year. it's very difficult for me to open up. ;-;

this website and blog i suppose will support me with this endeavor since i can't really tell if people are reading these. if it's out there then what do i have to hide - am i right?

i'll continue working on this site to make it more "aesthetic". as described in the previous post, i'm not satisfied with the current state of the website (nor was i ever). that may be the perfectionist in me, but i could definitely do better to spruce up the place.

what is this website to me? that's what i'm still trying to figure out. i don't want to park on this domain just for the sake of the name... i want it to actually serve some sort of purpose. i like the tbh creature, but to be honest (aha!), there's so much you can do with the little guy.

again, as described in the previous post, i mentioned i am getting into game development. i'd hate to think of it as a sort of potential side hustle, but it's kind of the reality. i've always wanted to make games, but i've never had the attention span to actually finish a fully fledged game. only little tid bits. maybe i should publish that pong game on here...

speaking of "potential side hustles", i want tbhvc to be a video games studio, but i think that's just too ambitious. i just want to be an indie game developer. it would be pretty neat. i think i have some good ideas, but isn't that true for every aspiring game developer? i've got decent enough programming experience and i have an eye for art/music... i just need to lock in.

hello internet! it's been a while. happy new year!!!

i want to redesign this website. i'll explain down below in more detail, but (EDIT MAY 1 2026: i just realized i never finished this paragraph woops)

i want it to be easier for me to post stuff on here. i guess i'm using obsidian to edit these blog posts now (i was previously just writing them in vscode). i already use obsidian as my primary note taking app, so i'm pretty used to it.

i wanna make video games... i bought a book and i am starting to make games in godot. my executive dysfunction kind of hinders me though so it's been tough.

hello internet! i've added a musics page and added my first album, tbh rpg adventures!! well, the term album is generous. it's a collection of small songs that kind of convey an idea rather than actual music. i've been making little songs like this for the past 5 years in FL Studio primarily using miniBit (i got from humble bundle :P).

update on my phone, i had to install some more apps. first of all, i installed my grocery store's app for scanning items and adding coupons. i shop at smith's since that's the closest grocery store to me.

hey i'm also customizing my steam deck finally using decky loader. maybe i'll start using it more. i do need to clear my backlog...

hello internet; welcome to another awesome blog post

i may or may not have time to work on this website this weekend. i've done a lot of nothing these past two days, but i did get myself a new phone, a used iphone 15 pro, and i've been setting it up all day. i previously had a pixel 8 pro and have had to use android pretty much my entire life. nothing wrong with android, but the reason i went apple was because my family mostly uses it (and i like using my m1 macbook pro).

i am hoping to keep it minimalistic and relegate its use to only text/phone calls, photos, and music (i use youtube music since i pay for a youtube premium family plan). i also have obsidian and track my health using withings. if i install any other applications, i will keep this blog informed. the idea is to, again, keep everything minimalistic, and anything else can be done on my web browser (i use vivaldi btw). i think paying for my own phone plan and starting with a fresh new environment (i already used iphones at work so ios not foreign to me) will help me at least in the short term... i'll need to be disciplined and intentional now if i want to keep it as clean as it is now further down the line. i really need to read discipline is destiny by ryan holiday. if you haven't noticed i like to read self-help books...

anyways i'm breaking bed- baking bread right now so i'm kind of multitasking right now. i'm hoping this shokupan comes out good, because the dough seemed a little too dry in my opinion. we'll see how it comes out.

i just checked on it, it's looking pretty good! anyway, see ya.

hello internet! i am tired and sore from golfing 18 holes (i tuckered myself on the driving range in the first hour) so this blog entry will be shorter. also thank goodness it's not daylight savings!

i'm currently listening to c418 - it's good nostalgic music. helps me focus when i'm reading or if i'm working on things like this website.

i read a little bit more of think faster talk smarter and some of the points it brings up were new to me surprisingly (although, i'm not the best at communicating in the first place). i liked the bit about heuristics and how to avoid them. otherwise, the book is pretty standard for a self-help book.

hello internet welcome to another blog post!

i need to learn to speak my mind more often. i've updated the front page to show my current status on status.cafe - it'll give you guys a fun way to see what i'm currently thinking. this is in addition to writing more blog posts. i don't plan on having a set schedule, but i would like it to be a regular habit.

instead of reading digital minimalism like i said i would in my last post (i've read a little and will give my thoughts in another post), i've been reading think faster talk smarter by matt abrahams. i've always struggled with expressing my thoughts and opinions, so i thought it would be a good book to pick up. so far (i just got done with the first first part so i'm not that far) it offers pretty generic self-help advice but with its own spin. so basically every self-help book. one point that stuck out to me in the book was to catch whenever you say filler phrases like "um" or "like" and instead inhale to add some sort of pause. i'll also need to learn to slow my body language, this apparently will help with my anxiety when speaking.

by the way, don't buy your books unless if you really like the book and plan on reading it multiple times. get a library card and get your ebooks/audiobooks from libby (not sponsored) if your library supports it. i just highly recommend the service because it's basically free ebooks and i can send books directly to my kindle.

speaking of kindle, is it worth jailbreaking my kindle paperwhite if i only use it for reading books on libby? i don't really see a need, but i've been recommended videos on youtube about it. i guess a customized reading client would be cool. i'll think about it and report back if i do.

anyway, i'm playing some golf tomorrow with some work buddies so that'll be fun. i suck at golf. :P

hip hip hurray! the blog is now a separate page and not shoved in the home page.

that should reduce the visual clutter on the home page, but i will need to add something to prevent the home page from looking too plain; we'll need to reference back to the future of tbh.vc.

i still don't have a solid grasp of what this website should encompass - a purpose for the website basically. yeah, it's a quirky little site, but it's a bit directionless. right now it's basically an excuse to work on my own thing and to keep away from social media platforms. youtube's a hard one to quit, though. ;-;

currently, i have digital minimalism by cal newport on my desk. i would like to start reading it by next weekend. i'll probably give my thoughts on the book throughout.

good news everyone!

i've updated the crap out of the website and now it has a little more personality

this is also a great time to explain the architecture of this website...

this website is mostly developed using html, css, and javascript; i prefer using visual studio code as my text editor, but i should probably use vscodium instead (it's the basically the same thing, but without any microsoft telemetry bs).

i'm also using a static site generator called eleventy (i'm only using it because i've heard that it's a popular one to use on neocities lol; i also like learning things). eleventy makes it convenient for people to create page layouts and blog posts. you can basically create a template for your blog posts and then add markdown (.md, a fancy version of .txt) files to your site to create posts.

although you will need to understand npm (a node.js package manager) first before you can start using eleventy... node.js is a whole can of worms, and it's not really that easy to get into if you're not already familiar with web development. maybe i can talk about it more in-depth in another post.

whenever i finish editing this website, i push my changes to github and it runs a script/workflow on github actions to automatically build the website and upload only the "built" files over to neocities (thanks to deploy-to-neocities from bcomnes). git and github actions are another can of worms...

anyway thanks for attending my ted presentation! :D

uhh i was just thinking this website could just be a club for people who love and appreciate the autism tbh creature or something

anyway i updated the about us page and the vc stands for virtual club now

i still use this site for personal reasons and shortening links just because it's such a short domain name

some planned features i want to implement for tbh.vc:

• application form to join the club
• art showcase
• video games
• other silly features